What Was Nicole Getting At?

Today was my first day back since my accident and everything went okay. I was worried that all my seedlings would have died with me being off work but it seems that Tony has been looking after them for me. I have to say if I’m honest that he seems quite a pleasant sort although I won’t be telling Nicole that.

I’ve been a bit worried because as I said last night we made a really stupid mistake which Nicole spotted half way to Scotland. We were to be picked up at the station by a Mr Scott who is the caretaker at the place we were going to be looking round and then Nicole was saying how I must participate in the viewing as this was to be our place and not just hers. I know I finished off a post the other night saying something along the same lines but it sort of meant more with her saying it and then all of a sudden she sat upright in the seat saying, ‘Oh my goodness, I just realised something’.

She startled me a little the way she burst in to life.

‘What’ I asked.

‘Who did I just say we were meeting’?

‘Mr Scott’ I replied.

‘Who is’? she asked.

‘The caretaker’ I said searching her face for an answer to what she was getting at.

‘and…’?

Can you tell me what Nicole is getting at? I know I said I was going to tell you tonight but I thought it might be fun to see you’re all smarter than me. I will tell you the answer tomorrow I promise.

So instead tonight I’m going to show you some pictures, mainly in answer to Mr Doubting Thomas who seems to think I sit here night after night writing a pack of lies. As a couple of you ladies know I nearly pulled the plug on this blog a week ago because of his discouraging attitude towards me and my lady, anyway thank you for encouraging me to stay on and finish what I started for you.

The pictures are of where the accident took place and I hope they will show what I say was true and also help explain to you better what happened.

The first picture shows the steers that I ended up underneath. They’re roughly in the same place as when I ended up on my back under them all. The barrier you can see behind them is the feed barrier where I escaped too some how after I got kicked in the head. Sorry the pics aren’t so good but it came in dark due to a heavy snow shower at the time.

The next picture shows the gate that I was trying to escape from. Just to give you some idea of the weight of this gate I will tell you its made of heavy steel and takes two men to lift when not hung on the hinges. Also on the night of the accident that heap of straw you can see on the floor wasn’t there so there was nothing to stop the gate from swinging all the way round. What we did was drive the steer behind the gate and forced it up against the door with the gate, its head would have been about half way down the gate when I was working on it trying to insert the ear tag. Luke was at this near end of the gate supposed to be holding it to trap the steer between it and the door. Luke is much bigger than me and should have been able to hold it with ease so I don’t know why he didn’t and I also don’t know how he got his leg trapped either. The wall on the right is where he was sitting when I found him after the accident. When the catch on the gate is in the position it is in the picture i.e. not protruding from the end of the gate there is nothing to stop the gate swinging a full 180 degrees and this is why it was so important for me to get out of the way of it or I could easily have been crushed or flattened by the swinging gate if I stopped where I was.
To show you the forces involved if you look at the next picture notice how the catch is bent. That catch is made of solid steel and bent like that when it hit the post you see in the picture.

This picture makes me feel cold because had the catch been retracted as in this picture on the night of the accident there would have been nothing stopping it from swinging past the post and the next thing after the post was my head.


This final picture is of my ear. As you can see there is still a bit of bruising but the cut is healing ok.

I’m still not sure whether I was kicked or got stood on, I just remember rolling on to my side intent on getting to my feet when I felt a heavy blow to the side of my head but I don’t know how that would cause this sort of injury so I’m thinking maybe it stood on my head. Anyway thankfully I’m okay and recovering well. I also hope this helps some of you understand what happened better and see that I’m not faking it. Tonight was the first time I’d been in the shed since that night and I must say it made me feel quite uncomfortable. I’ve heard nothing of Luke either since that night which is a bit upsetting as he knew how bad I was hurt. Nicole doesn’t want me to go there again and I probably won’t as I don’t want her worrying, I shall miss driving the tractors though.

I would like to finish off by thinking everyone who wished me a speedy recovery, it really did lift my spirits to read your wonderful comments, and don't worry Cathy the virtual hug was quite ok and much appreciated.

Back From Our Trip.

If anyone ever reads this I'm sure you will be pleased to know we got back from our trip okay although how long things are going to remain okay is a bit up in the air as we suddenly realised on the way up there that we made a potentionaly big mistake which I will tell you about tomorrow. Now though I'm pretty tired and need to go to bed as I am fit enough for work tomorrow.

The Proposal.

Thank you anyone who wished me a speedy recovery, you will be pleased to know that I am improving all the time and hardly hurt at all anymore. Tonight I’m going to tell you about the situation between Nicole and the Evil Dark Lord, in particular the events of last weekend.

It seems that Lord A is being very childish and refuses to speak to her about anything. He arrived at the hall last Friday and arranged a meeting through his sidekick Tony for a meeting over Sunday lunch which Tony prepared. Nicole assumed the meeting was to be between her and Lord A but when she came down to lunch he had invited his parents and to top it off included Tony at the table too so poor Nicole was well out numbered. Thinking of this makes me really angry inside even today. The next thing took everyone by surprise when he not only announced his desire to separate from Nicole preferring instead the company of Tony. I can’t tell you the exact words as I wasn’t there but from what Nicole has told me he said that due to his wife’s soul interest being that of her own interests and well being they have decided to part company, she to be replaced by Tony who has been more dedicated to both him and the estate in the short time he’s been his companion than his so called wife ever has. Apparently he stopped short of saying they were lovers and no one brought that up. Nicole told me that she got up from the table to leave the room saying that she wasn’t going to stay there and listen to that crap. She can be quite blunt at times. The old man stopped her leaving saying that running away wasn’t going to solve anything. I always thought he was a bit surly but it seems he did stick up for Nicole a little. Lord A asked his father what was the matter with the stupid woman, she doesn’t want me, she won’t fulfil her duties as a wife, she does nothing all day but laze around and spend my money, I’m giving her the chance to bugger off and start a new life so what’s she griping about? This was directed at his father but was a question for Nicole but he wasn’t speaking to her. Nicole didn’t wait for the father to repeat the question and told him directly that whatever he wanted to think they are still married and she would still be a dutiful wife if he wasn’t forcing her to play second fiddle to him [meaning Tony]. She went on to tell him that she can’t wait to go but after all he’s put her through she isn’t leaving with nothing. He can make her a proper offer or she would go for everything she was entitled too. The old man got in a sweat hearing that thinking he was going to lose half his estate or something because he backed her up straight away saying that of course she wouldn’t be expected to leave without some means of supporting herself. They had known her since she was born and known her family even before that so they weren’t about to do her down. Lord A apparently wasn’t listening when the part about supporting herself was mentioned because she suggested she could be allowed the Keepers Cottage in the village as it was already empty. Nicole asked him how she was supposed to support herself with that place and pointed out that Grange Farm was also coming empty and was prepared to wait. She said non of them liked that idea at all but she pointed out that if she goes through her solicitor they will find that she will be entitled to more than what that’s worth so she wasn’t going to settle for anything less. I have never seen Grange Farm and Nicole is no farmer but she said she was thinking on her feet so as not to get palmed off with something she didn’t want. She knew the place and likes it and its coming empty at the end of May. I told her they couldn’t just decided there and then what she had to have but I can see how she was fixed being on her own and all. Again the old man seemed to add some common sense to the proceedings and said that everyone needed to think about things. She again warned them that if it wasn’t to be Grange Farm it had to be something of its equal or she would take her demands to her solicitor to sort out. Also she wasn’t leaving the hall until everything was in writing. The old man assured her they would talk about it and sort something out as soon as possible. So that was it really for last Sunday apart from her being told that she had no further say in running the house or estate and for the time remaining of her stay there she had to use the cooks quarters which is a self contained flat in the top of the house. They don’t employ a full time cook anymore so the flat has been empty for some years and she says it’s not very nice.

Anyway when Nicole came over to see me this afternoon she had some news she was very excited about. The old man had been to see her this morning and said that they were prepared to offer up some property they have in Scotland. They used to have a whole shooting estate there until the old mans mother died and then they had to sell off most of it to pay off the shortfall in death duties. There is just the house and some land left there now and no one has been there for twelve years except for a caretaker who lives in and looks after the place. So anyway first thing in the morning we are going to catch a train up there to take a look at it. I can’t tell you how excited I am, another weekend away with my beautiful lady although I don’t think it will be the same as the last weekend but who cares as long as we are together it will be perfect I know it. I’m also excited for her because I can tell she is excited about it. I’ve never been to Scotland either so that will be cool as well. I know I shouldn’t but I can’t help dreaming that one day it may be our home – this is all so awesome I can’t believe it.

The Accident.

Today I am off work again although I feel little better than yesterday. I will tell you about my accident now.

It happened last Tuesday evening after returning from work. Luke (the farmer) knocked on the door and asked if I could help him for a minute as he was having trouble tagging a steer in the shed so mum said I could go even though dinner was ready, it should have only taken ten minutes.

The farmer has a big new shed up at the back of our old ones where he over winters the cattle and it was in there that we had to corner the steer. The trouble is the shed isn’t finished off properly so the lighting is terrible but he needed to get the steer tagged before the morning because he was having some kind of ministry inspection so we got this steer trapped behind the gate at the end of the building and I was about to put the tag in the ear when I don’t know what happened. I felt the gate moving the steer started to move around and I just knew I had to get away from the gate before it did a 180 and trapped me between it and the other door so I ran for it hoping it would either stop swinging or I got out of the way before it caught up with me. Unfortunately there is a strip along the front of the pens that is kept clear of bedding as this is where the cattle feed and the second my feet hit the concrete they just shot straight from under me and I slid on my back right under the feet of the rest of the cattle in the pen, there would be nine of them as there are ten to a pen. I was probably shaken from hitting the concrete but that was the least of my worries as I was laid on my back with cattle panicking all around me, I remember thinking that this is how its going to end for me. They say your whole life flashes before you at such times but I just thought of how upset Nicole would be and then I thought I had to get on my feet as soon as possible so I went to raised my self out of all the shit and that was when I took an almighty crack to the left side of my head. I have no idea what happened, whether it stood on my head or kicked it but it felt like hell. I don’t even remember getting out of the pen or how I did, I just remember kneeling on the concrete amongst the cattle feed holding my head. I couldn’t let go of my ear as it hurt so much. It felt sticky but I couldn’t tell why, whether is was shit blood or even brains. Then I thought of Luke and looked for him thinking he was probably trampled too but I couldn’t see him until I managed to get to my feet and then I saw him sitting in the straw in the back of the pen. I couldn’t understand why he was just sitting there like he was having a picnic or something, it was all really weird and unreal, I even wondered is I was alive or dreaming or something. Now it seems strange that I just climbed back through the barriers again considering how my head was feeling and what just happened but I never even thought about it, all I wanted to do was see why he was sitting there instead of coming to help me. I never thought he was sitting there because he himself was hurt, that was perhaps because he looked comfy in all the straw and he was sitting as though he was relaxing but in fact he was in as much pain as me. As the gate swung round it had trapped his leg against the post or something like that. I wasn’t really thinking straight but I sort of knew he couldn’t sit there so I helped him up best I could, I think I must have finally let go of my ear by now because I remember seeing blood dripping all over him as I bent over to help him up. When we got back out of the pen I asked him where the taggers were, I think I had some idea that we still had to tag the steer. I knew I’d had them, I also had a torch but that was gone too. He just said, ‘bugger the taggers and bugger the ministry, I’m going home’. That sounded good to me as I needed to get cleaned up. I kept on wiping the blood away and every time I did my hand had as much crap on it as blood.

Of course the minute I got inside mum started freaking out. She always wants to rush me off to hospital with just a cut finger. Couldn’t she see I needed to clean up and lie down a while. I ignored her and went upstairs to the bathroom. When I looked in the mirror I got a right shock, I was covered in blood from my left ear down my neck and all down the front of my top. I panicked a bit because it looked like it was all coming from inside my ear and I’ve seen movies where people who bleed from their ears have cracked skulls and such like. It certainly felt cracked and I could hardly open my mouth now as the whole side of my face was stiff and swollen. Mum was battering on the door demanding I come out so I did and admitted I needed to go to hospital.

The drive to hospital was horrendous, I felt every bump in the road. I didn’t know at the time but mum had thrown in some pyjamas because she thought I would be staying there but after cleaning me up and testing everything it turned out not so bad, I just had concussion and my ear was hanging off a bit so they glued it back on and sent me home and said I had to take it easy and if there was any problems to go to the doctors straight away.

I couldn’t move the next morning when I woke up. I got up at seven as usual intending to go to work, I couldn’t move my head though and I was all dizzy and couldn’t even tell if I was falling over or standing upright which was weird. Mum and dad made me get back in bed as there was no way I could stay on my bike anyway. She called the surgery because she was worried about my balance but they said it was because of the damage to my ear. The whole area was bruised and swollen, my neck and shoulder were stiff and hurt more than right after the accident.
As you know I did do some writing but I was whacked afterwards. I asked mum to call Nicole and tell her what happened as she would know I was missing from work. Nicole doesn’t like me calling in case someone else happens to pick her phone up so it was better if mum called her. It was really nice because she came over in the afternoon and sat with me and mum, I felt better just having her there and she was fussing over me all the time which was sweet. So was mum of course and that is always sweet so I was really spoilt and almost made up for nearly dying.

In the next post I will tell you what happened between Nicole and Lord A last sunday, sorry its taking me a while to get around to everything. I always thought I led a boring life until I started to write about it.

The Introduction.

Sorry I didn’t write this yesterday as promised but I had an accident last night that came so close to being my last that its scary but I will tell you more about that some other time perhaps. Now to continue where I left off the other night.

I was outside waiting for Nicole long before she arrived but I didn’t want her to arrive early and find no one there as I know how scary this must be for her and it was the same reason I held her hand all the way in to the house when she did arrive. As she got out of the car I gave her a little kiss and told her how beautiful she looked and that she made me feel so proud. I was sure we where being watched from the house as who doesn’t like a sneak preview but I didn’t care.

In the living room when we entered were mum and dad and my sister and he boy friend, who soon left, I watched their faces for signs of what they were thinking but all I saw were smiles which was great. Dad did look at me and raise his eyebrows after all the introductions had taken place. It was obvious from his look that he at least approved of her. I’ve since learned that they realised that she was older than me but at the time of the introductions didn’t realise how much older so it was good that they got to know her a little before I told them her age. We waited until after dinner when there was just mum and dad there to break the real show stopper to them which was that she is my former boss and hopefully soon to be the ex-wife of Lord A of XXXXX. Dad seemed to take it in his stride although the smile on his face was not so big anymore, mum was a bit more concerned though, mostly for me I think because she asked all the things I asked myself right at the beginning like her reasons for getting involved with someone younger, who was below her usually standards both educationally and financially.

‘To be honest Mrs Wilson Jake may not have been to the same schools as some of the men I’ve had dealings with in the past but never the less I find him to a smart intelligent young man in all the ways that matter most to me, as for money we will enjoy whatever each of us can provide and without meaning to boast I have ample provisions for both of us as neither of us relish an extravagant lifestyle as long as we have each other. As for Jake being younger than I, let me tell you he is far more grown up and mature than my present husband despite his age. I can understand your concerns but please Mrs Wilson you mustn’t worry, I think of Jacob from the minute I wake until when I go to sleep and would rather hurt myself than hurt him’.

During the last bit she reached out and took mum’s hand and I felt a lump coming in my throat it was so awesome what she said. It certainly took the wind out of mums sails because except for a few more little things like for instance was everything over with Lord A or might she somehow be tempted back to him. Nicole assured her that everything had been over between them years ago but it was only now that she was able to admit to it. These were the only times all night that she mentioned Lord A, she never said anything bad about anyone or put anyone down to bolster her case, she won everyone over just by being herself, she is the most amazing person I ever met.

The time passed way to quick as is always the case when Nicole is around. Like a proper gentleman I escorted her back to her car, not because I’m a gentleman or anything, I just wanted a quick kiss! This time out of sight of any prying eyes there might have been as it was not the sort of kiss I wish to share with my parents if you know what I mean. When we finished I whispered in her ear, ‘I really want to fuck you, you make me feel so special’.

I said this to make her feel wanted more than any thought that it might actually happen.

‘I want you too darling, it will have to be quick though’.

Whilst there was some doubting the timing and location there was no doubting her seriousness as she was already at the front of my jeans. As anyone of you know who’ve read my earlier posts I come in to my own when it comes to serving my lady a portion quick and hot. The way I treated her in the next few minutes was no way to treat a lady but thankfully for me being treated as a lady was not what she was asking for. It felt so thrilling doing it there and then, we were like animals or something and all the time she was doing that sexy talking stuff she does in that so refined voice of hers telling me to fuck her like a dirty farm bitch! I have to smile when I think about it now as I have no idea what a dirty farm bitch is but whatever it is her words had the desired effect on me, helping me to serve her up what felt to be an extra large portion with her back to the rough stone wall to which she seemed ever so grateful. I must try and get you a picture of her sometime following such an event because she has this certain wild look about her that I can’t explain. I made her promise to let me know that she got home safely and after checking out my clothing I went in to see mum and dad. If I was ever going to cop a rocket for anything concerning my affections for Nicole this was to be the time, I wasn’t a bit worried though as I knew they loved her so it came as a bit of a shock when I sat down in the sitting room and asked them what they thought of her.

Dad was the one to reply with the most serious expression I saw on his face all night, ‘How do you expect us to feel when you bring home another mans wife who is old enough to be your mother’?

I was just about to argue the point that she was hardly old enough to be my mother when his face cracked in to a smile once again before continuing,

‘who is very pretty, well educated, polite, thoughtful and loves you almost as much as me and your mother’.

‘Oh yes, and not to mention loaded’.

Dad never usually says much, its mum that does the talking for everyone but tonight it was the other way round he wouldn’t shut up.

‘If you don’t look after her you want your head looking at son’. And then it was quiet!

But now all I could think to say was, ‘how do you know she is loaded’? I know this sounds a bit of a dumb question but I’ve sort of got used to her being like ordinary and not at all how you imagine someone with money to be so I never really think of her being wealthy anymore.

Mum answered the question, ‘you don’t talk like she does unless you have money behind you’.

She then went on, ‘you know that whatever the outcome between you two there are going to be some rough times in front of you, people like Lord A can be spiteful and unforgiving people’.

She then went on about all the crap that’s going to happen and although I don’t know for sure what happens in these situations I know there is plenty of worry to come before we can be free to love as and when we want. Another thing that bothers me is when it is all finally over will it still feel the same. I keep thinking about the thrill of the chase, will above board everyday life make us become just normal. I hope not. I hate the scary bits and the sneaking round and some of the stuff we have now but I think sometimes it helps to make the times we are together more intense.

I sat with them talking until my phone went and on answering it Nicole asked what they said, meaning my parents. I told her everything was fine and that they loved her. I knew they did, dad didn’t even smile this much when he got his new digger and although mum was pretty quiet I know that’s only because she is worried for me, I know she likes Nicole as I think they spent more time talking with each other than they did me tonight. Mum will come round once she sees Nicole is looking out for me.

I told her I loved her, which felt a bit weird in front of mum and dad but who cares. I also said to ring me tomorrow sometime and then I went to bed feeling very happy. Little did I know what an awful night the next one would prove to be but more about that in my next post.

A Little Bald Guy.

Today has been such a drag I can’t stand to think it will always be like this from now on.

I was filling the log boxes as usual when this Tony guy came and told me I had to hang around when finished. He is a little bald foreign guy, his approach was pleasant enough but really I wasn’t in the mood to be nice to anyone so I just did as he asked. His lordship came in to the hall where me and all the house staff were waiting and he announced that he and Lady Alex are to be separated. Of course this was no surprise to me but the others let forth a few exclamations of regret. He himself admitted to it being regrettable but sometimes we have to move on. The thing he wanted to get across to us was that from now on we were not to involve Lady Alex in anything to do with the house or estate as it was no longer any concern of hers and in future he would be in residence on a more full time basis and when he was away we have to consult with Tony who is taking overall charge of the house and gardens. He made no mention of the fact that he was the cause of all the problems which I didn’t expect he would. He did say that we are allowed to converse with Lady Alex and that we should remain courteous to her but we needed to remember who paid our wages meaning that anything to do with the estate and house was regarded as private. I think he meant that we could talk to her about things other than the estate and house. He then said that no doubt we would want to talk over what he just said to us and gave us ten minutes to do so. They were all saying that Lady Alex was never any good and that it needed someone with more go in them and more down to earth. I couldn’t be bothered and left after a couple of minutes. How they could say it needed someone more down to earth I don’t know as you can’t get a lady who is more willing to get down to earth than Nicole.

I didn’t see anything of her all day but she was in because I kept on checking to see if her car was there. The only time I saw it missing was when I was leaving work tonight and I discovered that was because she was waiting at the picnic site which is on my way home. I was so thrilled to see her I just got her and gave her the biggest hug and kiss ever. She looked really terrible and had obviously been crying which upset me so much that I refused to let her go until she promised to come home with me. I couldn’t stand to think of her alone in that house with them lot. She argued that we couldn’t spring such a surprise on my poor mother at short notice. I let her talk her excuses because I was drinking in the feel of her against me and the scent of her in my nostrils. I just get so depressed and down in the dumps when I’m not with her for even a short time that when we meet again it’s the most massive relief imaginable. I didn’t say a word but just got out my phone, which thankfully had a signal and even though she was protesting and trying to take the phone from me I called mum and asked her if it was okay for Nicole to come and meet everyone and have dinner. I held the phone so Nicole could hear the reply and mum was asking how soon? I told her now and she started saying how the place was a mess. I didn’t want her saying too much about that sort of stuff so I just said, ‘look mum, you’ve been wanting to meet her this is it, do you want her to come or not’?

‘Yes of course, I just don’t want to embarrass you or anything’.

I told her we would be there shortly but when I put the phone down Nicole insisted that she allows my mum more time to prepare and said she would return home and tidy herself up before driving over to my house. I was happy with that as long as she promised not to get cold feet which she did promise.

‘After the weekend I just endured meeting your family is going to be no problem and besides I have to tell you what has been happening’.

‘Please tell me that you aren’t clearing off or anything like that’ I said suddenly coming over all worried again at the thought of what she had to tell me.

‘No of course not silly, you’re the only thing that makes life bearable right now, beside I wouldn’t be bothered about meeting your family if I didn’t plan on getting to know them would I’.

I’m not sure what I’m doing to make life bearable as I’ve been thinking all day that if I never had this notion of making her mine she would have had the baby and lived a life of luxury. The last bit about meeting my family made sense though and I was comforted by that.

She smiled, gave me a big hug and a kiss and said, ‘See what you did to me Jacob, just five minutes and you put the smile back on my face, how could I give up a guy who does that for me’?

‘You take care on that bike and I will see you at six thirty, be sure to meet me though as I want you with me when they start pelting me with rotten cabbages’ she said jokingly.

Well its too late now for me to tell you the rest so it will have to wait for tomorrow night.

Changes.

This morning I feel terrible. I hardly slept a wink, I’m sick with worry for the future and feel so bad for Nicole and inadequate because I wasn’t there for her when she needed me the most.

I got a quick call from her last night, she didn’t give many details but it seems that yesterday the whole family got together the out come being that she no longer has any dealings with the running of the estate and has to move out of the house. It seems that today when I get to work I will have a new boss, there will be no more visits to the potting shed so work will be just that from now on. We’re going to meet after work so I should be able to tell you more about things later.
I never imagined when I first had desires for her that winning her heart wasn’t even the start, it seems like there will never be a time when we can be free of worry for the future. I need to tell her how much I love her this morning but I can’t talk, call, text or even mail her, I have to wait for her call to me.