Sunday 21 March 2010

Past Things.

With me not being able to post so often I’ve got behind with a few things that have been happening one of which being that I had to own up to my parents about Nicole. When I say own up I don’t mean I told the whole truth and nothing but the truth but more like the sort of truth and as little as I have been able to get away with.

It all kicked off the night when I announced at the dinner table that I was going to be going away with friends for the weekend. Of course mum being psychic immediately asked what her name was and I could see on here face that she wasn’t playing mind games and she knew what was going on so there was no point in lying so I told her it was Nicole. She then went on about how it would have been nice to meet her before I went off on weekends with her to goodness knows where. She asked what her defects were and I looked at her because I wasn’t sure what she was asking but mum can be real sarcastic sometimes and went on to point out that there must be something wrong with her for me to keep her hidden away as boys are usually proud of their conquests. I said there was nothing wrong with her and then dad who hadn’t said a word asked if it was us I was ashamed of then? I told them it was nothing like that and that’s she was just a bit shy that was all. There wasn’t a lot more said then but ever since I’ve been under pressure to bring her home for tea sometime also they keep on asking stuff about her which is difficult to answer as I don’t feel able to say the truth and its even more difficult with what Nicole is having to put up with from Lord A because her mind is on that all the time and can’t get in to anything else like meeting my parents.

Up until Friday she hasn’t shown much concern for what his lordships actions may be but on Friday when she was with me she broke down.

‘I’m so worried what will become of me’ she said as I held her tightly to me.

I tried to assure her that I would look after her and she knew I would but went on to say that the trouble is she has always relied on someone else to look after her and so didn’t have any means to stand on her own feet apart from family money and that’s how she is in this mess. That’s why its always easier to give in than branch out. In the end we agreed that we would look after each and help one another to branch out, we would think of something to do together and then we would grow together in our own rights in away that one of us wasn’t owing to the other all the time. It was Nicole who said that is what she wants and I am quite happy with that, I think its good that she wants to work at something together and not just spend the day shopping and dinning out because if that were the case I couldn’t be part of that, it would have to come out of her money and be something she did on her own without me.

So at the moment we are waiting to see what happens this weekend. His lordship was due up on Friday night. He kept us on tender hooks for two days and then the woman from the office phones Nicole to say he was coming to stay the weekend – he didn’t even call Nicole to tell her so that’s not sounding very good is it. She said she will try and let me know what is happening if she can but so far I’ve heard nothing which is very draining.

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