She reached across the table and took my hand and said after a sigh that I could clearly hear, ‘Jake, I know you think a lot of me and no doubt have your own idea’s about us which means more than you know to me and this makes me love you more than I’ve loved anyone for a long time despite the differences between us – but…’.
She stopped short of finishing the sentence and was looking at me like she was still trying to make her mind up to tell me or quit before it was too late. For me this all meant just one thing and I felt a terrible sickening emptiness come over me.
With a gentle squeeze of my hand she resumed, ‘What I did yesterday was wrong of me’.
I went to break in to say that I wasn’t complaining in the least little bit but she cut me off.
‘I know what you’re going to say Jake but you don’t know my reasons for doing what I did and it is they that are wrong’.
I listened for what those reasons might be, afraid to interrupt her again. After seeming to be lost in her own thoughts for a minute she went on.
‘You’re a sweet innocent boy who I have strong feelings for as a dear friend and now I find myself having to confess, though this is hard to come to terms with at the moment, even beyond friendship and this is why what I did was wrong. I know you may be finding it hard to see the difference which is proof in itself that I should be setting an example and teach you the joys of our relationship in a responsible and considerate manner and not inflict you with what was nothing more than anger driven lust intended to make me feel like a woman. It was selfish of me and although I don’t doubt that you enjoyed the experience I’m just as sure you didn’t know what was really happening’.
I was both relieved and stunned, I’m not sure why I felt stunned, perhaps it was from fearing she was telling me she wasn’t interested in me or whatever you call it. Just to confirm that I was on the right track I asked, ‘So you’re not dumping me or anything then miss’?
‘Course not silly’ she said doing that cute wrinkly nose thing she sometimes does.
‘Quite the opposite in fact, driving to town earlier made me realise how much I miss out on in my life. I was with a guy who obviously dotes on me, who wants nothing more than to be with me and please me and is proud to be seen with me. Do you know how often I get just one of those things from my husband’?
I shrugged my shoulders as I really had no idea although I was dying to find out so I suggested she told me.
‘To be honest neither have I, it’s been so long and so infrequent’.
‘I’m scared stiff where this might end, and I pray you don’t get hurt by it but really I want us to be together Jake – if you’ll have me’ she said.
These were the words I didn’t dare dream of ever hearing. Writing this a day after the event I still can’t believe it’s really true. What started out as nothing more than lust for a beautiful woman has blossomed in to a dream come true.
I knew that feeling of being scared of where it might lead, I also knew that if she had the feelings I had last week she also had no choice but to go with them no matter where it ended so I asked if we could leave at this point as the woman behind the counter kept on looking and I wanted to comfort my lady, I didn’t want her to be sad and worried like this but I didn’t dare do anything there in the café to comfort her.
Back at the car there was no one around so we held each other for a while which was nice. I told her not to worry because as long as we have each other it doesn’t matter what people think or say, not that either of us plan on telling anyone in the near future.
On the way home I wouldn’t say she was back to the way she was when we left but she seemed okay. She spent most of the time telling me tales about Lord A which I will pass on to you tomorrow. From what was said I feel a bit of a cheat as it seems my task was never that great in so far as his lordship goes as she hasn’t been happy with him for quite some time now but I will save the juicy stuff for tomorrow. For some reason she seems to see the biggest obstacle between us is the age difference. Also on the way home I was told that if I am to be her boyfriend I can’t keep calling her Lady Alex or miss, so now when we’re out I can call her by her name which is Nicole. So all in all I think things are looking pretty good. She drove home so that she could come in the back way and drop me off by the potting shed. There is only the housekeeper on duty in the afternoons as the cleaners only work from nine until one but its best if people see as little as possible.
Before I go I would like to thank Lady Enigma for her comment on my previous post, what you said really touched my heart and I now feel like I have an angel looking after me.
Oh yes, one more thing, and this is probably so obvious that I need not mention it but I just want to point out for the sake of being honest that even though I hang on to Nicole’s every word she did do quite a lot of talking yesterday so I haven’t been able to write down everything word for word as I just don’t remember her every word on this occasion so what you have is the gist of what was said and the time we spent together.
She stopped short of finishing the sentence and was looking at me like she was still trying to make her mind up to tell me or quit before it was too late. For me this all meant just one thing and I felt a terrible sickening emptiness come over me.
With a gentle squeeze of my hand she resumed, ‘What I did yesterday was wrong of me’.
I went to break in to say that I wasn’t complaining in the least little bit but she cut me off.
‘I know what you’re going to say Jake but you don’t know my reasons for doing what I did and it is they that are wrong’.
I listened for what those reasons might be, afraid to interrupt her again. After seeming to be lost in her own thoughts for a minute she went on.
‘You’re a sweet innocent boy who I have strong feelings for as a dear friend and now I find myself having to confess, though this is hard to come to terms with at the moment, even beyond friendship and this is why what I did was wrong. I know you may be finding it hard to see the difference which is proof in itself that I should be setting an example and teach you the joys of our relationship in a responsible and considerate manner and not inflict you with what was nothing more than anger driven lust intended to make me feel like a woman. It was selfish of me and although I don’t doubt that you enjoyed the experience I’m just as sure you didn’t know what was really happening’.
I was both relieved and stunned, I’m not sure why I felt stunned, perhaps it was from fearing she was telling me she wasn’t interested in me or whatever you call it. Just to confirm that I was on the right track I asked, ‘So you’re not dumping me or anything then miss’?
‘Course not silly’ she said doing that cute wrinkly nose thing she sometimes does.
‘Quite the opposite in fact, driving to town earlier made me realise how much I miss out on in my life. I was with a guy who obviously dotes on me, who wants nothing more than to be with me and please me and is proud to be seen with me. Do you know how often I get just one of those things from my husband’?
I shrugged my shoulders as I really had no idea although I was dying to find out so I suggested she told me.
‘To be honest neither have I, it’s been so long and so infrequent’.
‘I’m scared stiff where this might end, and I pray you don’t get hurt by it but really I want us to be together Jake – if you’ll have me’ she said.
These were the words I didn’t dare dream of ever hearing. Writing this a day after the event I still can’t believe it’s really true. What started out as nothing more than lust for a beautiful woman has blossomed in to a dream come true.
I knew that feeling of being scared of where it might lead, I also knew that if she had the feelings I had last week she also had no choice but to go with them no matter where it ended so I asked if we could leave at this point as the woman behind the counter kept on looking and I wanted to comfort my lady, I didn’t want her to be sad and worried like this but I didn’t dare do anything there in the café to comfort her.
Back at the car there was no one around so we held each other for a while which was nice. I told her not to worry because as long as we have each other it doesn’t matter what people think or say, not that either of us plan on telling anyone in the near future.
On the way home I wouldn’t say she was back to the way she was when we left but she seemed okay. She spent most of the time telling me tales about Lord A which I will pass on to you tomorrow. From what was said I feel a bit of a cheat as it seems my task was never that great in so far as his lordship goes as she hasn’t been happy with him for quite some time now but I will save the juicy stuff for tomorrow. For some reason she seems to see the biggest obstacle between us is the age difference. Also on the way home I was told that if I am to be her boyfriend I can’t keep calling her Lady Alex or miss, so now when we’re out I can call her by her name which is Nicole. So all in all I think things are looking pretty good. She drove home so that she could come in the back way and drop me off by the potting shed. There is only the housekeeper on duty in the afternoons as the cleaners only work from nine until one but its best if people see as little as possible.
Before I go I would like to thank Lady Enigma for her comment on my previous post, what you said really touched my heart and I now feel like I have an angel looking after me.
Oh yes, one more thing, and this is probably so obvious that I need not mention it but I just want to point out for the sake of being honest that even though I hang on to Nicole’s every word she did do quite a lot of talking yesterday so I haven’t been able to write down everything word for word as I just don’t remember her every word on this occasion so what you have is the gist of what was said and the time we spent together.
1 comment:
I am enjoying what you have created here :)
Secretia
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